chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
