There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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