i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
