we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
