It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
