UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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