I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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