I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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