HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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