just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
