accomplished twins. life is a go
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
