He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just gift wrapped bread.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
