So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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