he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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