Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
