you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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