wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The uberlube is also flammable
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize