Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
