Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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