I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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