does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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