Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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