Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
