3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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