she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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