Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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