I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
