i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
