ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
