She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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