he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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