I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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