An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
