He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
