you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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