i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
