white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm passing your future prison.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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