They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
