i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Damn victory sex feels great
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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