My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
and you fell through a lawn chair
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
