Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

Fav 5 893 3227
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(850): View more from Florida

I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(

Fav 51 1074 3672
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(201): View more from New Jersey

If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

Fav 61 15122 1525
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

Fav 21 7410 2005
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

Fav 3 1122 888
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(707): View more from California

I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs

Fav 5 805 1490
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(785): View more from Kansas

Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?

Fav 8 1646 874
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(219): View more from Indiana

That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.

Fav 3 622 764
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(954): View more from Florida

I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.

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