and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
