so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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