she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
