Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
