Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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