he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think i got beer on your cat.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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