Capitaan dildo arrescate!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
