I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
