Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
