The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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