Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
