i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
