sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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