I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
