i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
