i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
