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• (503): View more from Oregon

  my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  american apparel?

  (905): View more from Toronto

  try lime green

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.

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• (315): View more from New York

  So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.

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• (909): View more from California

  Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop

  (585): View more from New York

  We're dating now

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