the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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