Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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